They just don't understand.

Today, we went to hunter's moms house just to visit. So before we left she kept insisting on looking at a car seat. I told her we were fine. But she knew we were planning to buy another one for hunter's car. Well she had one. So I tried to make up every excuse not to take it to not sound rude. We went to the garage and looked at it. I looked for the expiration date, 2014. Then I mentioned how the fabric of it was so sun faded that the plastic probably was faulty  too, I don't know if this is true, but i really didn't want to take it. Hunter completely understands why. His mom does care for her belongings very well, and a car seat should definitely be taken care of. I know for a fact that car seat has been left outside in the rain. So then she was like since it's kinda faded I'll make a cover for it, then I told her that car seat covers will void the warranty. And then she was like well yall can just take it as is. Not wanting to cause a fight, we took it. So now I'm left with this car seat I REFUSE to use just sitting in my garage. And we are still planning to another car seat for hunters car. Which I know his mom will say something, when she sees us not using her car seat and if she sees that we bought a new one.

First Week Of School!

Was not fun. haha Y'all know that Emerson had to go to the doctor tuesday and it turned out she has pink eye. :( And she's got a cold, and cough, and is still congested pretty bad. Wednesday went okay, I was only gone for an hour and a half, because my class got out early and she was asleep i most of that. Thursday, was my birthday, and it was a disaster. I went to class, then between classes I decided to come home to get lunch because I have like a 3 hour break. So I came home, and my sister, who was keeping her, was like I can't do this anymore, I'm stressed out. Emerson didn't take her morning nap. Wouldn't eat. And apparently whined and scream the majority of the time. When I was there, she was perfectly fine. Soon as I got to the school, I had a text from my sister saying she was screaming again. That was about 11:30. When I got home, Emerson was finally taking a nap! She apparently cried from 11:30-12:45 and finally fell asleep. She woke up about 2:15. We went and got groceries. Then went out with my dad for my birthday. We went to buffalo wild wings! It was so yummy! But after I was done, my stomach started hurting. I started like getting real cold, but also sweating, I was dizzy and felt like I had to pass out. Then my lower back starting hurting really bad. It has hurt since then so bad that I took a hydrocodone last night. My mom said she thinks its a kidney stone, but I have a drs appointment monday to see. (of course we couldn't get one for today). So basically, if it gets any worse we will probably be making a trip to the ER. :/ On top of that I have 3 tests to take by sunday! And a ton of homework. I'm just hoping my health and school will all get better.

rough day

It was my first day back to school today! It was, not to good. I missed Emerson so bad. My classes are definitely hard this semester. On top of this, Emerson woke up with a 102 fever, yellow-greenish runny nose, and yellow goop in her eye. So hunter took her to the doctor, it killed me not being with her. :( And she has pink eye. So we got some meds for it. But she's been super fussy, and has cried so much she has started to loose her 'voice'. This was just not a good way to start the school year.

7 months

Diet: She's eating about 4 jars of baby food a day, a bowl of cereal, 2 4 oz bottles, 1 7 oz bottle, and some teething biscuits and some of those little Gerber puff things. She eats pretty much anything, except sweet potatoes, we've tried them once a month but still get a bad reaction.

Weight: No clue! I would say a little over 17 lbs. 17lbs 10oz (when she went to the doctor on 8/21/12)

Height:No clue on that either, 26 inches?maybe

Favorite Toys:Anything that isn't a toy? haha. Cords, shoes, blankets, dogs, and hangers. But she does play with her leap frog music table a lot.

Active:Crawling! Pulling up, and getting into everything!

Words: Dada

Sleep Habits: Not good at all. We haven't been getting sleep around here. She'll go down about 9:30, after she has a 7 oz bottle at 9. Then she'll sleep till about 1am and just want her paci. Then she'll wake up anywhere between 3-5 and just want to be held. She screams to the point one of us just get up and lay with her on the couch, which she'll eventually fall asleep and we'll put her back in her bed (which sometimes wakes her up again) Then she'll sleep until 7:30. We don't know how to keep her from waking up. But we're exhausted. Any tips?

It was a lot harder to take these pictures now that she's crawling!

I'm not going to lie.

Some nights, after Emerson goes to bed and before Hunter gets home, all I do is get on pinterest a read random blogs. Most of them have to do with newborn, baby, and pregnancy stuff. I'm not going to lie, I get baby fever BAD. Disclaimer: I AM NOT pregnant. Nor will be for at the very least 3 years. VERY LEAST. But sometimes, I want another bad! I miss just holding Emerson, and her being so small, I hate how I've blinked and 7 months have gone by. But most of the cause of my baby fever, is plans! I want to have a home birth. I've already looked into midwives in my area, and call me crazy but i've actually talked to one. hah. I want to breast feed and cloth diaper. Honestly, I just want a lot of kids. I asked hunter a few weeks ago how many kids he wanted, he told me 1. WHAT?!? I definitely do not feel 'finished'. Honestly, I LOVE being pregnant. I love being able to have a belly, and show it off. I love the waddling. I love pregnancy and birth, and just reading about it. I love researching options and alternative ways to do things. I just love babies. One of my main reasons for actually working out and eating healthier, is so I can be fit enough to have a healthy pregnancy and give birth at home. If I had my way I'd have 4+. I want more than 2, but don't want to have a middle child, so 4 makes since to me. Hunter of course will always be worried that we wont be able to provide. The ladies at the gym yesterday told me that I wasn't allowed to have anymore children because Emerson is such a good baby that the next one will be a terror. I just can't but wander how many children I will end up having. But in the mean time, we're going to school, hopefully will get married, and buy a house, then we'll start popping them out. I just love the thought of Emerson having a sibling.


*I know this post probably makes zero since, but it's just my feverish ramblings that have been on my mind.

When life gets hard.

Being pregnant in High School, that was hard.
Working 40+ while pregnant, that was hard.
Working 40+ and going to school full time from, 5-8 months pregnant, that was hard.
17 hours of natural labor, that was hard.
 Pushing for 3 hours, that was hard.
Going under the knife and having a child taken out of me, that was hard.
Recovery, even harder.
Breastfeeding, the hardest thing i've ever done.
Quitting breastfeeding? That was even harder.
Now, life is about to be getting a whole lot harder.
Why? Me and Hunter are both going to school full time this fall! It's official everything is basically worked out schedule wise!
Going to school, and leaving Emerson, will with out a doubt be the hardest thing i've done in my life. Being with her pretty much every moment of the first 7 months of her life, and now having to be away from her is going to be tough. But I know it's needed and will deffinately get us ahead and have a much better future for emerson. So here is our hectic schedule for this semester-

Mondays- I don't have class, so I'll stay home with Emerson. Hunter has an 8:15 class, and his last class ends at 3. Then he'll go to work at 4.

Tuesdays- My first class starts at 8:15 and my last one ends at 2:30, Hunter only has one class that day that starts at 3 and ends at 5. So he's gonna keep her and then we're gonna meet half way, i'll take Emerson, and he'll go to class. Then he'll come home and we'll go to bible study at choices!

Wednesday- My only class is from 8:15 - 10:30, Hunter's first class starts at 9, so he's gonna drop Emerson off at my Nana's (She lives in East Ridge, half way between our house and Hunter's school) and soon as I get off I'll go pick Emerson up. Hunter's last class gets out at 3, so then he'll go to work at 4.

Thursdays - My first class starts at 8:15 and my last class ends at 3. Hunter's first one starts at 9, so he's gonna drop Emerson off at his sister's apartment (in East Brainered, it's totally out of the way but she's free) and then I will pick her up when I get out. Hunter's last class ends at 5 that day, so we will get that night together.

Fridays -  I don't have class, so I'll stay home with Emerson. Hunter has an 11am class, and his last class ends at 3. Then he'll go to work at 4.


So that's our schedule, it starts this next week! I am unbelievably nervous and excited. But most of all I'm glad. I'm thankful, that we are both in school, and everything worked out for us to be. It's gonna be hard, but we're gonna make it work. 

What do you do?

Before I became a mom, I gave no thought to seeing a baby in their car seat on the top of the shopping cart. Now, it makes me cringe. Or the people who use an obviously expired car seat with no concern. What do you say to these people? I said nothing. Tonight I went to Ingles (grocery store) to get groceries. When I was walking in, their was an older woman, a grandma, walking out, she had a baby in an infant car seat, sitting on top of where a child would sit. It's dangerous, and definitely warned by car seat manufactures. Then when I was in the check out line, there was a couple checking out ahead of me. They had the infant car seat sitting inside the cart, but the car seat was super old, and i'm not talking 5 years, I'm talking at least made in the late 90's early 2000's. They also had a head rest not made with the car seat in it, an after market product. What bugged me the most was that they were buying a lot of alcohol, yet their child was using an expired car seat. I'm not saying I'm against alcohol, but when you're not providing for your child, I just can't justify that. But did I say anything to either of these people? No. I didn't. Why? I really don't know. When you see a parent/grandparent obviously misusing a car seat do you call them out? If so, what would you have said?

wordless wednesday, posted on a tuesday.

Advice

As a mom, you get a TON of advice. Some wanted, some not so much. Those random ladies in the grocery store that ask you if your 5 week old sleeps thru the night, no, no she doesn't. They'll tell you to put rice in her bottle. Or those crazy ladies in the restaurant bathroom, when your changing your kids diaper when she's 2 months old and they start telling you to give her water, no, no she really doesn't need it. Or those 'older' moms who think your crazy for trying cloth diapers, and tell you disposable are better. Those family members who tell you their children were already drinking cows milk at 6 months, and it's cheaper than formula, NO THANK YOU. When you have a baby, you get a ton of bad advice, a whole lot of out dated advice, but you also get some good tips. The best advice I ever got was a lady who told me, "It doesn't get any easier, the challenges just change". At the time, I was mad, real mad. I hadn't slept for days, everyone was telling me it would get better, and your telling me it wont? WHAT?!? But she was right, it's not easier, the hardships are just different. Instead of feeding a baby every hour, I now clean up baby food off of ever nook and cranny (whatever a nook, and whatever a cranny is, I don't know.) we own. Instead waking up every 2 hours to a hungry, but still sleepy baby, I now spend an hour trying to get Emerson to sleep and not just play. Instead of lugging a sleeping baby in huge car seat around, I now plan everything around Emerson's naps. Instead of having to hold her all the time, I now chase after her every where, I still get NOTHING done. Motherhood, doesn't get easier, the challenges will be there, they will just be different.

Babble Babble Babble

Yep, Emerson said her first word the other day! Can you guess what it is?

Baba? No.
Mama? No.


It is DADA.

She said Daddy before mommy. I'm not gonna lie, it did/does upset me. Not because I'm mad at hunter or anything, he's a tottally present dad. It's just the fact that when your a Stay At Home Mom, your with the baby 24/7, you're the one up with them everynight, your the one who wakes up at 6 am, the one who does laundry instead of napping with the baby. And it does kinda hurt that I'm the sole caregiver of Emerson, and she said DADA first. I know I know, Dada is easier to say than Mama but it still makes me a little sad.


So now everytime were in the car, everytime she's playing, or just chilling, all she does is say DADADADADA DADA DADADADA. Over and Over again! It's fun though, and we're working on Mama ;]

For thos sentimental nights.

Emerson goes to bed at 9 and Hunter doesn't get home untill 10 at the earliest, but most nights it's more like 11pm. So that is my me time. Most of the time I wander around the internet, and tonight I found a poem that I love! I loved the line where it says we 'house their bodies but not their souls' It's just beautiful to think that my daughter will someday grow up to be a beautiful young lady, a wife, and a mother. But it's also wierd, kind of like when your pregnant you know the baby, but you don't know what they look like, or who they really are. But you love them. I just believe that no matter where my child ends up, what her thoughts are, what her sould is like, I will love her and always be there. It's thrilling to see what Emerson will turn into, a curious toddler? Or will she be shy? Will she be outspoken or play to herself? Will she want to play sports or be musicians like us? Will she enjoy being an only child for a while? Or will she ever have a sibling? Will she be like us when we were young? It's hard to say, but we will see. It's odd to imagine how she will change thru out the future, near and far. But I don't want to know anytime soon, I enjoy her now. Her big eyes, the deep belly laughs, and the way she's so happy to meet new people. I enjoy every moment, because they will not last.


Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you, yet they belong not to you.
You may give them your love but not your thoughts.
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow, which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them, but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday. 
-Gibran

 

At my wits end.

With Acid Reflux.

After I quit breastfeeding, she was already on Similac Sensitive because she was sooo fussy and gassy and really just in pain. That deffinately helped with the pain. But right after I quit, without a fail, every single bottle would be perjectiled. No matter where it was. On me, In the flood, Carseat, on the table, on the dog. It happened everywhere. We use the Dr. Brown's bottles which are supposed to help with the gas and reflux, yeah, they don't, they're just a pain in the butt to clean.  When she was 11 weeks old, I took her in, they told me to add cereal to her bottle to help her stomach hold it down. That didn't help. So at 13 weeks I took her back, she then got Zantac, twice a day at morning and at night. Well it helped a little, no more perjectile, just spit up in little intervals ALL THE TIME. At her 4 month check up, I asked about it again, and they said with her starting solids it should help it. Did it? NO. Not at all. Infact, the past month, it has gotten worse. Not only is it just curled milk, it's now bits and pieces of peas and apples and who knows what else. I know it's gross. I've been wanting to just 'WAIT IT OUT' until yesterday, when emerson discovered that when ever she spits up, she now wants to play in it. I've caught her at least 10 times today, trying to crawl, and then she'll spit up on the floor and then percede to play in it, like she's finger painting. It's disgusting. I just figured she would've been grown out of the Acid Reflux by now, so it's looking like it's a lot more severe than I thought. She's got to go back to the doctor soon, to get a Zantac refill. But we're restless, she's stopped sleeping thru the night, and i'm being covered in puke daily. I just want her tummy to get better.

making a move.

well hopefully!
Since my parent's are getting divorced my mom doesn't wont to live in the same house, which I understand. Sooo! We've been talking and we're thinking about getting a bigger house with either

A. A mother in law apartment for me hunter and emerson

or

B. A big basement, with at least a bathroom and two rooms for us to have.

So we've been looking! And i'm super excited. We've agreed that we(me and hunter) would pay for electric and water. And mom the rent. But we can't do anything until the divorce is final so it could be awhile. But still I'm excited for the fact that we could have our own space. We decided to do this, because we couldn't afford an apartment if I didn't work. And I'm not able to work because emerson can't go to daycare this semester and i'm having trouble finding a sitter for the 2-3 days i'm at school. But I'm excited! If this does happen, we plan on staying there until hunter graduates 4-5 years, which mean Emerson would probably be in kindergarten, so we while we look for a new house we have to pay attention to school zoning. It makes me excited to just see how everything will turn out!

Locally.

Whether it's eating, shopping, or giving business. I'm all for supporting locally owned and stay at home parents businesses. That's why I love etsy and such. As you all have heard about the chick fil a stuff lately, and how many people went there today it got me thinking. Where does all the money they make really go? The people make $7.25 and hour so it's not like it's going to the employees. They do have good quality food but I'm sure they double what they spend, or at least today they did. It got me thinking about the locally owned restaurants around here, the family owned coffee shops, like caffeine addicts, and pizza places. Hunter works at Roselli's a family owned small pizza restaurant. Their employees make more than $7.25 starting off. Hunter, after a year makes $8.50. How can a family owned business afford to pay their employs more than a multi million dollar company? I don't know. But it does strike me odd. When I worked at Subway we weren't allowed to eat anything without paying for it. Yet, hunter is allowed to eat as much as he wants while he's on the clock. (he's gained 15 lbs this past year!) It makes me wonder do these company's, not just chick fil a, really care about their employees or do they just care about the money? Thinking about this today made me think, where do I want my money and my business to go? Do I want it to go to the hands of some rich CEO, who knows nothing about the work the people in his company does? Or do I want it to go into the hands of a parent or a family who are paying their bills, their children's music lessons, or their kids college? But most importantly, I want my money to go into the hands that worked for it. I don't want my $10 bill to be split 1/10 to the workers and 9/10 to the high end sit in a desk and do nothing guys. I want it to go to employees who served me, who worked to earn it. Another reason I want to spend locally, is the fact that most of the time, the owners of a restaurant are also there working, and working just as hard as the other employees. This is just something I thought on today, that maybe we should support our local business more than we do the million dollar companies we often go to.