Saturday, July 14, 2012

Sorry for the Silence.

This has been a rough week. I've always struggled with pretty bad anxiety. But when I got pregnant, a lot of it went away. After I had Emerson, I showed no signs of postpartum depression. Until, I quit breastfeeding. I quit at 8 weeks, so 2 months. I then, mainly got depressed, because I felt like I had failed my daughter. I never told my doctor, because honestly I'm afraid to admit it. I'm not one to take a lot of medicines. So I didn't bring it up. After I began looking into why I had a c-section, I began stressing. Add the fact that I went back to school full time and my parents are in the middle of a divorce and I've been pretty stressed out. Well within the past week, my anxiety is back. I'm nervous to leave the house, then I get stressed that I'm staying here too long, then I randomly get nervous that hunter will leave. I'm just anxious all the time. I'm always on edge. I know what triggered it. I haven't had a period since may. So as of yesterday, I've missed two. I've switched birth control (which has made me gain a lot of weight). But I've taken two tests so I don't think I'm pregnant. But just the thought that I could've been has made my anxiety come back and i'm just trying to snap back. It's been a rough week and I'm trying to get out of the rut. I've got to go back to the doctor in a few weeks so I think I'm gonna try to get an IUD because we cannot get pregnant right now and I'm just so scarred I will. I've just been on edge. So sorry for the silence. I've got some posts planned so stay tuned!


  1. If you ever need someone to talk to, feel free to message me on facebook. I'm on your friends list... Christina Eason.
    Seriously, our stories are almost identical. I quit breastfeeding at 2 months. Got depressed. It took me forever to overcome that. I quit takingmy birth control because it made me gain a ton of weight, and I did end up pregnant again. My tests came back positive almost instantly,so I doubt your pregnant. I have an IUD now, and I love it!
    Seriously though, if you need someone to talk to, message me anytime :)

  2. I'm sorry, girl. I know how that is. I really do. I have a lot of anxiety and OCD problems. For awhile after I had Sam I wouldn't leave the house. It got better then worse then better then worse. I started going to a place in Dalton called GA HOPE-it is free for people without insurance and they take Medicade-Anyway, they put me on medication. I am not one to take medication either, but it has been very worth it. I am actually able to enjoy stuff now. I really suggest that you look into it if you think it is disrupting your life.