Saturday, July 14, 2012
Sorry for the Silence.
This has been a rough week. I've always struggled with pretty bad anxiety. But when I got pregnant, a lot of it went away. After I had Emerson, I showed no signs of postpartum depression. Until, I quit breastfeeding. I quit at 8 weeks, so 2 months. I then, mainly got depressed, because I felt like I had failed my daughter. I never told my doctor, because honestly I'm afraid to admit it. I'm not one to take a lot of medicines. So I didn't bring it up. After I began looking into why I had a c-section, I began stressing. Add the fact that I went back to school full time and my parents are in the middle of a divorce and I've been pretty stressed out. Well within the past week, my anxiety is back. I'm nervous to leave the house, then I get stressed that I'm staying here too long, then I randomly get nervous that hunter will leave. I'm just anxious all the time. I'm always on edge. I know what triggered it. I haven't had a period since may. So as of yesterday, I've missed two. I've switched birth control (which has made me gain a lot of weight). But I've taken two tests so I don't think I'm pregnant. But just the thought that I could've been has made my anxiety come back and i'm just trying to snap back. It's been a rough week and I'm trying to get out of the rut. I've got to go back to the doctor in a few weeks so I think I'm gonna try to get an IUD because we cannot get pregnant right now and I'm just so scarred I will. I've just been on edge. So sorry for the silence. I've got some posts planned so stay tuned!