Sunday, July 31, 2011

judgmental much?

People drive me insane. I was at work today and saw a pregnant girl I knew, she went to high school with me. She was big, I mean 9 months about to pop miserable. As soon as she left a guy sitting at a table, turns to one of my co-workers and said "did you see how young that girl was, she had to be know more than 14." I was shocked, first of all that girl is 18, older than me, and completely living on her own. I was appalled at how judgmental this world is, without knowing any situation or anything about the person, you judge them. It literally made me sick. So I told the man sitting at the table "No. She's actually 18, older than me, and living on her own, and graduated high school" He was shocked. But how can you not stick up for someone in the cruel world, it literally made me furious and sick. How can you judge someone you've never even met? sickening.

Thursday, July 28, 2011

doctors and placentas.

Well I went to the doctor last Thursday, alone. I was upset at first, but Hunter had band pictures, and couldn't get out of it. So I went and the doctor tried to hear the heart beat on the Doppler (at 15 weeks) which is kind of unusual. She knew the baby was okay, because she could here it kicking. So she decided to go ahead an do another ultrasound, to check. Turns out I have an anterior placenta, which blocks the sound of the heart beat from being heard. Which means I'll be getting a lot of extra ultrasounds! But it shouldn't be a huge factor in this pregnancy or at least we hope! but here's the pictures from the ultrasound, in which we could've seen the sex, except the little booger wouldn't uncross it's legs. haha.

if you look closely to the left, the legs are crossed!

dreams and names...

So last week I had a total break down, because we still hadn't agreed on/choose a name. For either sex! Then one night I just had a dream, that there was a baby boy and the name we thought we liked just didn't suit it, and the baby wouldn't respond to it. Then in the dream, everyone was calling it a certain name, we'll call him Z for now. But if it's a boy he will be called Z, though we still don't have a middle name for him, haha. The girl has been the hardest. I liked the name A but Hunter hated it! So then again I had a dream we had a baby girl and named her E, Em for short. Hunter likes E better than A, but I dont know if he's sold on it, yet. :) For the girl middle name, I want two middle names! I found two short names that go perfect together, but Hunter says it's too much. I like EG for the middle name, but it may just be G. So we'll see! :)

the church and the support.

So far, our church still doesn't know. I mean our youth pastor and his wife knew before our dads knew! And we told our pastor before really any friends knew, he supported us, because we are repentant of our sins, but suggested we went to a local resource center. Choices Pregnancy Resource Center; has been a blessing. We go every other week and take classes, parenting classes, classes about pregnancy and what to expect, classes on relationships, and just counseling. They are awesome, they also do ultrasounds there, mainly to talk girls out of an abortion but also to see the baby of their clients. So we got an ultrasound at 14wk6d from them! and it was amazing how much our baby had grown! you could tell he/she had hunter's nose! (which is what i wanted) :)

not very clear, but still a beautiful picture :)


Well my first doctors appointment was at 6 weeks and kind of lame, just a bunch of blood drawn and no ultrasound. but the second appointment was awesome! At 11 weeks, they tried to hear the heart beat, and couldn't hear it thru the Doppler thing. So my doctor (who's awesome by the way) was like sometimes, we just can't so she went ahead and did an ultrasound! There it is! Our little peanut! The heart beat was 164! and this baby was Active! It was only me and hunter at the ultrasound, and I wouldn't have had it any other way, soon as we saw the baby our baby, we just looked at each other and smiled, knowing it was truly a blessing and a miracle.

telling the family...

Wasn't fun. At all. But in the end everyone is supportive, at least all most everyone. My grandparents, were the worst to take it. We went to tell them, and my grandpa told me that if we didn't get married that the baby would be considered a bastard. hmph.. well,  we told them, we were not getting married, not yet at least. So we left their house and they were still pretty angry. So a week later, my grandma showed up at my house, my dad was outside washing cars, and grandma refused to come in the house to see me. She stayed outside and tried to talk my dad into making us get married when my dad said he wasn't going to make us, she drove off. Oh well. But friends started talking and eventually every one found out! And i'm alright with that.

The start of this journey...

Well I'm 17 and I'm pregnant. The Friday before mothers day we found out, I was three days late, but figured it was from all the stress of a Tornado that week completely tearing apart my town. I was wrong Friday morning I went to hunter's house with a box of 3 tests. I went in the bathroom took it, and laid it on the counter, went out to the living room and waited the 2 minutes we were supposed to. Hunter insisted we walked in the bathroom together, to see the results together. We walked in the bathroom, and there it was one line and a plus mark...I sank I immediately fell into hunters arms and just sobbed. I don't know why I was crying, I mean I love babies I should be ecstatic, it's supposed to be a happy time! But for me it wasn't, it was complete fear, fear of people knowing, knowing that we had had sex. We weren't supposed to, and we knew that, we were CHRISTIANS. We went to church, we were on the leadership team in youth group, we were completely involved in the church, how could WE be pregnant? Well we were and there was know changing it now, after 3 pregnancy tests..we knew this mistake wasn't going to go away. 

So the rest of the day I plan to catch up on the past few weeks, and then update this weekly. :)