Friday, September 7, 2012

Why not? What kind of mom am I?

Well, we're all perfect moms, until we actually have kids. Because the way I'm raising Emerson is completely different than I ever imagined, so I'm sure some things may change along the way.

I believe in reinforcement. If it works for your child. Positive more than negative. When Emerson does something good, I praise her. If she eats her dinner, I tell her what a good eater she is being. Therefore she gets positive reinforcement. And as much debate I have done with myself, I do believe in negative reinforcement. Not harshly, because I have seen first hand the extent some 'moms' will take punishment too. But if Emerson is getting into something (Computer cords, drawers, shoes, wallets) that she isn't supposed to and that could hurt her, she will get some kind of negative reinforcement, now it's mostly a head shake no and saying no, but sometimes she will get a tap on the hand. I don't know if we'll end up spanking or not, but we will cross that bridge when we get there.

I believe in breastfeeding. When it works. I've come to the realization that sometimes, it just doesn't work out. I hope and pray that it works next time. But this time, I realize that it just wasn't meant to be.

I believe in co-sleeping. We have mostly been co-sleeping/rooming in/bed sharing. I believe the benefits out way the harms. But I believe in doing it safely. Keeping her with me, on my side, or only if I am in the bed, (Hunter is a deep sleeper). I believe it gives her comfort, because she is going thru a lot of seperation anxiety right now. And honestly, It's easier, we all get more sleep, because we don't have to get up, rock her back to sleep, and then get back and bed. It just works.

I believe in letting children explore. Not letting fear get in the way of their learning. I don't believe in keeping babies in a play pin/bounce/swing all day. 90% of the day Emerson is crawling, learning, exploring, and figuring out how things work. I don't believe they should be caged to their little area they need room to play and learn.

I believe in extended rear facing. Actually, I don't even want to call it extended because it should be the law to go to 40lbs, but obviously our government has other issues. I am a car seat natzi. I HATE seeing parents not buckle their children in correctly. Especially older parents, Because I am a young mom I get judged a lot, and I hate seeing older parents making mistakes that I know not too.

I believe in educating yourself as a parent. Especially birth. Having a really traumatic birth experience with Emerson. Even after, doing an extensive amount of research. I believe in evidence based maternal care, and not just doing something because everyone does. I do not believe in prenatal testing for genetic disorders, It wouldn't matter if my child had an extra chromosome, I would love them any way.

If you would have asked me 3 months ago if I believed in vaccinating, I would have said flat out yes. Now, not so much. I do believe in vaccinating, I do not believe in shocking and compromising a child's immune system. I do not believe in flu shots, especially live virus flu shots.

I believe, we should take advantage of modern medicine that have been found, but not to abuse it. We do not give advil if our baby is merely fussy. I give prunes rather than milk of magnesia. I'd rather natural remedies cure our bodies before chemicals do. That being said, if we are sick, we do go to the doctor if we need. I believe we often over use medicines and therefore our bodies eventually become immune to them.

I believe that as a parent we have are supposed to protect our children's bodies. It's not my body therefore it's not my choose. After having my body cut open with no evidence, no consent, and little reason, I will NEVER do that to Emerson or any future children. I will not pierce Emerson's ears, unless she asks. And even then, we will sit down, and talk and see if she truly wants it, or if she just feels pressured to do it. If we ever have a boy, he will not be circumcised. Hunter does not agree with me on this, so if we ever have a boy, we'll need some help, because my child will not be getting it done. I believe parents are brainwashed with little evidence to do this to their boys, and I will not stand for someone taking a piece of my son away from him.

That was long, but these are just some of my parenting beliefs.

16 comments:

  1. We do a lot of positive reinforcement, but we do spank when necessary. It's not often, and I hate doing it. We don't spank to hurt either. It's more of a pop on the butt to get attention quickly.

    We've never owned a play pen, and neither of my kids really liked bouncers, so I've always baby proofed the entire house, and let them go lol.

    As for not circumcising, what are his reasons for wanting the baby to be circumcised? I have researched that probably actually more than car seats. I can probably help you with some of his concerns.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. We've only talked about it a few times. And he said he would just want his son the same as him and his dad. They're both circumcised.

      Delete
  2. :)

    I learned a little about you.

    We did a lot of the positive reinforcement when Sam was younger. We tried to not say the word "no" and instead say, "stay away from the cord." or "How about, instead of playing with the cord, you go play with your toys?" It really did work when she was younger. As she got older, we started grounding and spanking. I am old fashioned in this sense, as in many others. "Spare the rod, spoil the child."

    I agree with you about the medicine. Like I said in my post, we do not have medicine in the house. Our bodies are meant to naturally defend against sickness. So we let it run its course. If we use medicine every time we get a headache, the medicine will no longer help. It will all be in our heads.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yes positive reinforcement is great!
    I slept with all of my little ones until my fear of SIDS subsided some! Little Blaikelynne is still in our bed at times and probably will be for a few more months.
    I also believe in letting them explore. I do not keep my little ones in one spot either. It's to hard to do that anyways.... Mine would scream if they were in one spot to long.
    I am a huge supporter of "extended" rear facing. I like why you said.... It should be the law. I get so much crap from people about Charleigh( 3 1/2 years old) still rear facing. She will continue to tear face until

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. She's he outgrows the max of her seat.

      I also had a traumatic first birth. Ugh! I get shivers thinking about it. I really wanted to do that csection video but didn't get a chance with all that happened. I hate csections. I will forever feel robbed. It is a horrible feeling. Parents should defineatly educate themselves.
      My pesitrician is not a fan of medication. There is no point in giving antibiotics to an infant.... It doesn't work like it does on older children or adults. When Ellanoa got RSV and was hospitalized for 10 days he did everything he could to not have her on antibiotics and just delivered fluid and watched. He said he would of gabe it to her if he continues to get worse but

      Delete
  4. thankfully it isn't come to that. I do Prase God for te antibiotics Blaikelynne was put on but that was something way more serious. She needed them to help he fight and live.

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